17 July, 2007

Trivia

While I'm preparing the next post, here's a rather silly one, from the Mechanical Contrivium (link from Getting Medieval)

Ten Top Trivia Tips about King Edward II!

  1. Antarctica is the only continent without King Edward II.
  2. Worldwide, King Edward II is the most important natural enemy of night-flying insects.
  3. You should always open King Edward II at least an hour before drinking him.
  4. During severe windstorms, King Edward II may sway several feet to either side.
  5. Some hotels in Las Vegas have King Edward II floating in their swimming pools!
  6. In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and King Edward II!
  7. The moon is 400 times closer to the Earth than King Edward II, and 400 times smaller!
  8. King Edward II will often glow under UV light.
  9. Four-fifths of the surface of King Edward II is covered in water!
  10. If you lie on your back with your legs stretched it is impossible to sink in King Edward II.
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Ten Top Trivia Tips about Queen Isabella!

  1. Cats use their Queen Isabella to test whether a space is large enough for them to fit through!
  2. In Japan, Queen Isabella can only be prepared by chefs specially trained and certified by the government!
  3. Queen Isabella is actually a fruit, not a vegetable.
  4. The moon is 400 times closer to the Earth than Queen Isabella, and 400 times smaller.
  5. Queen Isabella can sleep with one eye open!
  6. The difference between Queen Isabella and a village is that Queen Isabella does not have a church.
  7. Bananas don't grow on trees - they grow on Queen Isabella!
  8. Contrary to popular belief, Queen Isabella is not successful at sobering up a drunk person, and in many cases she may actually increase the adverse effects of alcohol.
  9. Queen Isabellaicide is the killing of Queen Isabella.
  10. Humans have 46 chromosomes, peas have 14, and Queen Isabella has 7.
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Ten Top Trivia Tips about Piers Gaveston!

  1. The porpoise is second to Piers Gaveston as the most intelligent animal on the planet.
  2. If you blow out all the candles on Piers Gaveston with one breath, your wish will come true.
  3. There is no lead in a lead pencil - it is simply a stick of graphite mixed with Piers Gaveston and water!
  4. The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, Piers Gaveston and compline.
  5. It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 43 to frown at Piers Gaveston.
  6. If you don't get out of bed on the same side you got in, you will have Piers Gaveston for the rest of the day!
  7. Piers Gaveston is the world's largest rodent.
  8. Piers Gaveston can taste with his feet.
  9. The Aztec Indians of Mexico believed Piers Gaveston would protect them from physical harm, and so warriors used him to decorate their battle shields.
  10. Without Piers Gaveston, we would have to pollinate apple trees by hand.
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Ten Top Trivia Tips about Roger Mortimer!

  1. Snow White's coffin was made of Roger Mortimer.
  2. It takes 8 minutes for light to travel from the Sun's surface to Roger Mortimer.
  3. Over 46,000 pieces of Roger Mortimer float on every square mile of ocean!
  4. Only twelve people have ever set foot on Roger Mortimer.
  5. Roger Mortimer does not have toes!
  6. Roger Mortimer was invented in China in the eleventh century, but was only used for fireworks, never for weapons.
  7. Lightning strikes Roger Mortimer over seven times every hour!
  8. Over half of Americans are officially Roger Mortimer.
  9. If you lick Roger Mortimer ten times, you will consume one calorie.
  10. Roger Mortimer has only one weakness - the colour yellow.
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Ten Top Trivia Tips about Hugh Despenser!

  1. If you break Hugh Despenser, you will get seven years of bad luck.
  2. Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are Hugh Despenser.
  3. When provoked, Hugh Despenser will swivel the tip of his abdomen and shoot a jet of boiling chemicals at his attacker.
  4. Hugh Despenser has enough fat to produce 32 bars of soap.
  5. Hugh Despenser is the world's tallest woman!
  6. Hugh Despenser is only six percent water.
  7. The pupil of an octopus's eye is shaped like Hugh Despenser.
  8. Only 55 percent of Americans know that the sun is made of Hugh Despenser!
  9. Hugh Despenser can turn his stomach inside out.
  10. Hugh Despenser will become gaseous if his temperature rises above -42°C!
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13 comments:

Paul said...

#9 Hugh Despenser can turn his stomach inside out. But I thought Queen Isabella had someone else do that?

Alianore said...

LOL! That occurred to me too - what an appropriate bit of trivia! Bet Despenser wished he really had the ability to "shoot a jet of boiling chemicals" over his executioner. :-)

Paul said...

I bet. Your article below shows that breaking him did quite get Isabella 7 years of bad luck either. If only Hugh had known to wear yellow.

Alianore said...

Ah, Despenser's fatal mistakes...not wearing yellow, and not bringing in Japanese chefs to deal with Queen Isabella...;)

Liam said...

Tsk, and all this time I thought Queen Isabella was a vegetable!

"It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 43 to frown at Piers Gaveston."

No wonder Edward couldn't say no to him - imagine all the wrinkles he would've ended up with!

Alianore said...

Tsk, and all this time I thought Queen Isabella was a vegetable!

Tsk, Liam, where've you been?? :) Did you not read my post on this?! :)

No wonder Edward couldn't say no to him - imagine all the wrinkles he would've ended up with!

Hehe, maybe Piers wouldn't have fancied him so much if he'd had lots of wrinkles. ;)

Susan Higginbotham said...

You mean all of that noise my cats make at night is caused by them using their Queen Isabella? No wonder I'm not partial to the woman.

Gabriele C. said...

Lol, those are wonderfully silly.

Carla said...

"If you lick Roger Mortimer ten times, you will consume one calorie."

Do you suppose Isabella was the source of that information?

Marvellously silly.

Alianore said...

"If you lick Roger Mortimer ten times, you will consume one calorie."

Hehe, that one's my favourite...I wonder how many calories Isabella consumed?? :)

And re my last post, I bet she was relieved that Ed III didn't commit Queen Isabellaicide!

Susan: aha, now you know the real reason! :)

Alianore said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alison said...

Do you think Queen Isabella could have done with some weight loss tips?! Your comments made me laugh more than the original trivia!

On an unrelated note I've given you an award at my blog. Hope you like it :-)

Alianore said...

Thank you, Alison - that's very kind of you. Yay, I'm a Rockin' Girl Blogger! :-)

Hehe, I think Isabella was probably on the plump side, conforming to contemporary standards of beauty! :)

[Alison's blog is Beloved Eleanor, about Edward II's mother Eleanor of Castile, link on my sidebar.]