Here are some names I really like, spotted while trawling through the Patent and Close Rolls of the early fourteenth century...
Isard de Lana Plana: one of Edward II's sergeants-at-arms in 1323. Where the heck is Lana Plana?
Sewal atte Ponde: accused of 'trampling crops with carts and horses' and other crimes in Essex in August 1327.
Richard But and Simon 'Richardesprestbut': Richard's priest's butt? Co-accused with Mr atte Ponde.
John 'Thelavediescartere Engayne': Ditto.
Meliora de Glenkarny: late the wife of Gilbert de Glenkarny, October 1327. 'Meliora' always sounds to me like the kind of silly pseudo-medieval name that sometimes appears in historical romances, but there you go, apparently it was a real name. I still object to 'Brianna', though.
Adam le Fuckere and Jordan le Cok: Oh dear. Accused of assault in Somerset in August 1315.
Cokkus atte Wose: Accused in July 1323 of stealing goods from a ship belonging to merchants of Flanders at Newcastle.
Thomas Roberdesknave Elisisone: Accused of carrying away fish and cattle in Oxfordshire in February 1309.
Walran Wolf: Accused nine men of breaking into his house and assaulting his pregnant wife (oy!) in Lincolnshire in August 1319.
Pentecost de Kershalton: Accused with five other men, including the mayor of Northampton, of assaulting and imprisoning the servants of John Cromwell, and killing others, in November 1308.
Godeskak Pentecost of Almain: German merchant trading in England, February 1320.
Ralph Bonebote, Walter le Lunge and Benedict le Segrestaynesman: Accused of assault in Northamptonshire in February 1310.
Chivellus de Pistor: Another of Edward II's sergeants, April 1312.
Thomas 'Of the Bedde': Accused several men of assaulting him in Lincolnshire in April 1312.
Scolastica de Melsa: Late the wife of Godfrey, November 1316.
La Weliwonne: Name of one of Edward II's ships in 1312.
Augustine Bastard: Held lands worth forty shillings annually in Devon, August 1326.
Drua de la Putte: Late the wife of Miles, December 1326.
Grimbald Pauncefot: Either the constable of St Briavels Castle early in Edward II's reign, or a character in one of J. K. Rowling's novels. His brother was Emericus or Emery Pauncefot.
Elnardus de Salso Marisco: Owed £10 to Peter Deyvill in September 1314.
Walter Crapinel: Granted part of the manor of Wratting Taleworth, wherever that is, in May 1316.
Talifer de Tilliolo: Joint keeper of the town of Scarborough in 1315.
Robert de Buttustorne, Ralph Dieuxboneye and Richard Pilerche of Dogmaresfeld: three of the forty-odd men accused of stealing Roger Mortimer's deer from his park at Stratfield Mortimer in May 1316.
Femisia atte Mershe: Granted land to the abbot of Stratford in December 1315.
Hamo atte Hole: Accused of assault in Kent in March 1318.
German Canterbury: Accused of burning one of the dwelling-places of the abbot of Canterbury in January 1317.
Nicholas Wynceconte: Co-accused with Mr Canterbury, as was Michael Canterbury, presumably his brother.
Gippus atte Soler: Accused of stealing deer and assaulting the king's parker in Surrey in April 1324.
Lovekyn Bruyn: Accused of breaking and entering in Oxfordshire in May 1322, and 'carrying away doves' (seriously).
Ranulph Prat and Joceus del Dike: Accused of breaking and entering and assault in Lincolnshire in December 1312.
Jordan Fatbon, Thomas le Gay, Hamelin Pappe and Gellinus Bynortheweye: Accused of assault in Devon in May 1316.
OK, that's enough laughing at people's names for one day. :-)
EDIT: Thanks to Satima Flavell for linking to this post on her blog.
The rain in Spain falls mainly on Lana Plana?
Adam le Fuckere and Jordan le Cok so badly need to be the heroes of a medieval erotic novel.
Adam and Jordan may have been bumbling fools, "screwing" up everything they touched.
I've wondered why William I of Normandy, 896-943, and his descendant 10 generations later, William Longespee, 1176-1226, bastard son of Henry II, carried the nickname "Longsword." Things that make you go, "Hmmm..."
You have to wonder if Adam's bad deed had something to do with the derogatory meaning of the word that is the shortened version of his last name. Very interesting.
PS: The Longespees were antecedents of the de Audleys, to bring it into your Edward II era.
And Edward III had a battle sword of 6 feet, eight inches, now in a hard-to-access niche at St George's Chapel in Windsor. I'm not convinced that a sword that long could be other than ceremonial.
Adam le Fuckere - you couldn't make it up! ROTFL!
Oh dear! Oh Dear! Just picked myself up off the floor and wiped away the tears of laughter. Anerje - I couldn't put it better myself: you really, really could not make these names up - unless you're Terry Pratchett.
Alianore - I just knew all that time you were spending on the rolls wasn't just for Ed II research!
Roflol. Did the names mean what the mean today?
Christy, I'm not sure even a strong man could do any useful fighting moves with such a monster. I certainly couldn't.
Staying in the spirit of descriptive names, I may have been TOO cryptic with my reference to Longsword/Longespee. I was wondering if the nickname did NOT refer to a metal weapon, but an anatomical feature that saw a lot of action.
Maybe Edward III's famous 6'8" sword was meant to be a phallic symbol of power, not an actual instrument of death. The man did have a gaggle of children.
Susan: you sooo need to write that novel. ;)
Daphne: I've only seen Adam's last name the once, but 'le Cok' was a surprisingly common name in the early 14th century!
Christy: aha, now I get you. :)
Gabriele: not sure - the f word is really old, so maybe...
Anerje: you certainly couldn't...;)
Lady D: you've discovered my secret. :)
I rather suspect that 'Longsword' and its variants could carry a double meaning :-) And the 6 foot sword possibly an even less subtle version of same. Maybe it fulfilled the same sort of role as a Porsche or Ferrari today?
Although wasn't King John sometimes nicknamed 'Softsword'? Considering the number of illegitimate children he fathered, the double entendre meaning doesn't seem very appropriate in his case.
Wasn't Meliora a Cornish name, from one of those obscure saints?
Carla: yes, I think you're right - it does sound familiar.
These are wonderful!!!
Be sure to take a look at my blog "Booking the Middle Ages" for today.. "The Wit and Wisdom of Piers Gaveston" - another great name.
Nan: they're marvellous, aren't they? Imagine the fun you could have writing a novel about them. :-)
And yes, 'Piers Gaveston' is a gorgeous name - for a gorgeous man.
Oh, jeez... Someone really does need to write a sappy medieval 'erotic romance novel' starring Adam le Fuckere and Jordan le Cok. xD
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